The Strange Situation
The Strange Situation
One of the most famous child developmental theories ever used is the Attachment Theory by the psychologist John Bowlby; he believed that all children are born with an already programmed tendency to seek and remain close to an attachment figure, and through the attachment theory, he sought to describe the attachment relationship between children and their primary caregivers. According to Bowlby, the main requirement for a healthy attachment relationship is having a responsive caregiver who meets the infant's physical, social, and emotional needs. When an infant is born, the only inborn reflex of an infant to survive is crying; a responsive caregiver's presence should be able to provide safety and comfort when the infants show any type of distress through crying; this involves feeding and changing, as well as carrying the infant. Bowlby developed three phases to the Attachment theory, "pre-attachment which goes from zero to six weeks, "attachment in the making," in which the infant develops trust in the caregiver, and it goes from six to eight months, and "clear-cut attachment," in which separation anxiety is evident and where the infant begins to experience stranger wariness, this phase goes from eight to eighteen months. Attachment theory is so critical because the set of mental expectations about infant attachment figures provides availability, support, and a pattern of interactions, leading the way for the future relationship of the infant.
One of the ways attachments are measured in infants is through standardized test, a procedure done by Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s was called the strange situation. In this peculiar situation, children and their caregiver are put in a room with a couple of toys; in the first procedure, for three minutes, the child and caregiver are to explore together the provided toys and room; soon after, a stranger will make their way into the room without having any interaction with the child, after three minutes or less, the caregiver will be asked to step out of the room, leaving the child and stranger alone, this when the first separation episode will occur as the stranger interacts with the child, after three minutes of separation, the caregiver will walk back into the room to reunite with the infant by greeting and comforting the baby while in distress. (This will go on for typically two or more times.) The level of attachment is recorded depending on the infant's response upon reunion when the caregiver walks back into the room. The four patterns of attachment that are measured based on the strange situation are "secure," in which the infant explores the room and toys with help from the caregiver, uses the caregiver as a safe base, moderate separation anxiety is expressed, and is easily comforted by caregiver upon reunion.
"Insecure avoidant," in which the infant explores with no help from the caregiver, shows little separation anxiety, and does not seek contact with the caregiver upon reunion; "Insecure- resistant," in which the infant clings to caregiver, shows little interest in exploring, there's high separation anxiety, seeks comfort, but cannot be easily comforted upon reunion, and finally "disorganized" in which the infant shows inconsistent response, may ignore or cling to caregiver, may seem confused or lack emotion, as well as may use stranger as a secure base.
Although this is all about psychology, there is an apparent relationship between a child's physical attachment to their caregiver and the spiritual attachment a person has to their caregiver, the creator. Similarly to the strange situation, as grown-ups, we might not be physically put in a room with strangers to test our level of attachment, but we for sure experience daily situations in which we must face "the stranger in the room" when we are put in unknown setting and go through hardships. Now, ask yourself what type of level of attachment you have with your creator:
Secure phase:
- When you experience hardships and trials, do you make God your safe place?
"The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe."
Proverbs 18:10
2. Insecure avoidant:
- Do you show little separation anxiety when you start to drift from your relationship with God?
- Do you tend to rely on yourself more than on God?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then, you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. " Proverbs 3:5-8
- Do you go fight to rekindle your relationship with God?
"That is why the Holy Spirit says, "Today, when you hear his voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled when they tested me in the wilderness." Hebrews 3:7-8
3. Insecure resistant:
- Have you stopped being hungry for God and his word? ("shows little interest in exploring")
- Do you find it hard to make God your safe place because you have experienced abandonment from others?
"Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." Psalms 27:10
- Do you seek comfort from other things before seeking comfort from God?
"As the deer longs for streams of water, I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?"Psalms 42:1-2
4. Disorganized:
- Is your relationship with God inconsistent?
- Do you run to "the stranger" (sin) for comfort instead of running to God?
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." Hebrews 12:1
When learning about this theory in my psych 11 class, I reflected on my life and asked myself how I made my safe place growing up. Regardless of the "strangers" I was facing, I learned to have a "disorganized" level of attachment in my relationships, where I did not find refuge in anyone, not even myself. Instead, I sought comfort in pulling my heart back from the people who surrounded me, and as it turns out, it led me to pursue "unconditional" love in all the wrong places. As a disciple, it is something that I am constantly facing and working on, as I tend to seek comfort in being avoidant with God. If I am not careful enough, I will treat God silently to protect my selfishness. One scripture I've been holding on to this scripture for the last couple of weeks to prevent me from doing the above is Psalm 46:2 (MSG): "Keep me safe, oh God, I've run for dear life to you. I say to God; nothing makes sense without you; understanding that God is faithful and someone I can put my whole trust in alone brings me safety and comfort without chasing and running after worthless things that will only lead me to pain, bitterness, and disappointment.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” - Psalm 46: 1-3
